Case of the "X"

If the space between the variables X and Y is like an empty vacuum, there would be no light. I’m talking about the relationship of X towards all the algebraic variables. X has been suffering, for it cannot cross the space. X is an emotionally-disturbed letter. Among all the letters, or variables, X is the most rarely used alphabets. It is so rare to see a name that starts with X. X is in the alphabet, but, does X know that the alphabet, or rather the English language, is just using him/her to make the alphabet more sophisticated. I mean he/she is there, he/she is in the alphabet list, but he/she almost nothing. The spaces between A, B or even Z are so bearable while the spaces between W and X or X and Y is like a wolfs bane. X gives Y everything; companionship and friendship, but does Y respects X’s personality.

X is a lonely letter because it is given a negative context. "Malcom X", "American History X", "X-Men", and the letter 'X' is also used to mark incorrect answers. The only times it gets a positive mark is when Pirates crosses out the location of the treasures on their maps.

Y is always the partner of X. They are always a partner since time immemorial. X has an authentic friendship with Y, due to the fact that X is a kind letter, but, does Y have an authentic friendship with X. I don’t think so. X gives all his/her properties like X+Y=XY and everything just to make Y or his /her partner happy, but the rotten gravitational pull of the black hole between them seemingly sucking Y. 

Why Do I Love Thee

Another old post from my myspace account. Part of who I was, I remember how crazy I was for her. It was good times. :-)

I love woman, I love their voice, their eyes, the way they look, the manner in which they walk or sit. I love the down on their arms, their hair, their curves, their bodies, their laughter, their sadness, the wetness. See, everything about woman I love.

Woman is the necessary drug, the Prozac of our soul, which keeps us from becoming dysfunctional -- though in our weaknesses we may turn her into the cocaine that can destroy our lives; but that isn't woman's fault. Woman is wine: the delectable fruit of the vine, giving us joy, warming the heart, for physical and intellectual union are what create those high moments of ecstasy and illumination which validate our existence as human beings

The "Lie" Word

I am sitting in the chair, writing in agony.
a demon, a minor demon, is pinning me there,
fucking with my head.

What do I wanna know about lies?
I'm not a liar. I try again to get up this time,
I felt myself screaming.
I'll tell you about lies.

There are white lies and
black lies, and many shades of gray lies.

But some lies are justified.
Lies told out of kindness.
Lies that preserve dignity.
Lies that spare pain.

Everybody's a liar.

Another First Sight

I already deleted my myspace account and I saw this post I made 2 years ago, t'was a good memory though, so here it is..


Do you guys believe in "another first sight?"
That you could meet someone across the room,
and with that ONE GLANCE you can look into their eyes
and see their soul?

Just wanna share how sad I am..
How I miss this person sobra!
This is the first time that I felt like I'm on a "one sided love affair."
I can't pretend anymore, I want her to be mine, all mine.
Yes, HER! a "woman."
I am so damn in love with her.

I am on a situation where I can't stop and
rationalize everything so perfectly.
I wanna do something even though
deep down it can be a disaster.

Was it just a breath we shared?

I miss her voice, her touch, her lips kissing mine.
I miss her telling me to visit her, I miss her bed.
I miss everything.

I only hear her voice
I only see her face
I'm trying to guess her feelings
I'm trying to read her thoughts
I want to hear it from her,
Where is this going...

The look in her eyes is not enough
I'm full of anticipation and yearning.

I really wanted her to know how I feel.
But every time I'm with her all I wanna do is kiss her.
That kiss says everything she has to know.

I never felt this to anyone (Man or Woman),
the thought that I will spend my 20-30 years from now with someone.
I want that "someone" to be her.
I don't care about anything right now but her.
She's the person I fell in love with the first time I laid my eyes on.
My feelings for her right now is against all logic.

Reason, Season, Lifetime.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

True Love Waits

Finding the right person is very hard and very wrong. It is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there. You'll always end up disappointed when you set standards and define
a "right person" for you...and don't rush things coz  somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you."

Don't be in a hurry to get into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it. Try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you
really are, and what you really want in a relationship.
You're right, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt, don't give it a try. You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you have made. If you knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. You'll just suffer the consequences and live like hell for the rest of your life. It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you can't make it any better by just pretending you still have the same feelings. Try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a much needed attention. Then you
will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by yourself.



We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go. We are wrong, it's just pity. We call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will
somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. We misunderstood; it's just that we're too much dependent to them. We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave, no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its just insecurity. But no matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn't something you can buy or beg. It is real and existing. You can't touch
it but you can feel it in your heart. You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come. It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it can also make you
the most miserable person in the whole galaxy.


"When you lose someone... and you think you
were the one who loved most, between the two of
you... he lost more. For someday you can love
someone the way that you loved him...But he will
never be loved again the way that you did."

About Me

I live in a house that was renovated 14 years ago, and I hear footsteps every 2 o'clock in the morning.

My creative process is both complex and simple.

I am who and what most people think I am not.

I am a contradiction of who you perceive me to be.

I am fun and very supportive to my loved ones.

I've learned that sometimes, the best way to figure out who you really are is to get to that place where you don't have to be anyone else.

I always have my camera with me.

I can induce my sleepiness in no time.

I still get sleepy even after a coffee, or lots of coffee.

I sleep without pillow.

I wash my feet on bathroom sink. ( Only on public bathrooms, when nobody's around.)

Was a Cheerleader, and in a dance troop.

I don't like house music.

I love Classical, Alternative, Rock, Metal, RNB, Soul, Ska, TripHop, Gothic, Gospel, Pop, Progressive, Experimental Music.

I can sing from Charlotte Church's music to System of a down. (but I don't growl.)

I sing in Church Choir, and in an underground band.

I have the best band mates in the world. :P

My "only" favorite local bands are Wolfgang, Dicta License, and Up Dharma Down.

I'm good at Chess.

I don't like donuts.

I wake up right away when i get stared at.

I can talk the entire day, without getting you bored.

I love long walks.

I love the rain.

I love Sun Flower.

I'm attracted to men who looks like Jesus Christ.

I love sunrise.

I love fireworks.

I write Screenplay.

I'm a Protestant.

I go to church every Sunday since the day I was born.

Family comes first.

I still feel like a 17 years old when my parents yell at me. (because the older I get the smarter my parents become.)

I've learned that the easier way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I'm not one of most girls.

I never fell in love with a friend.

I like mature and older guys. I want someone who can make me submit to him – which is very hard.

My description of Love is Sacrifice and Acceptance.

I love Buddha bar.

I like to observe people, how they talk, their body language, mannerisms.

I'm good with my hands, I make water and gravity bongs from anything that I can use.

I don't get even.

I can easily let go if you just tell me.

I swear I don't think sometimes, I even doubt my own intelligence.

I'm only sexy when I'm naked.

I love BRANDON BOYD!

I believe that nobody is better than anybody, they're just different.

- When I get lonely, I tell to myself "So be lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

- I have my own set of survival techniques. I am patient. I know how to pack light. But my one travel talent is that I can make friends with anybody. I can make friends with the dead. If there isn’t anyone else around to talk to, I could probably make friends with a four-foot-tall pile of sheetrock. That is why I’m not afraid to travel to the most remote places in the world, not if there are human beings there to meet.

-You have no idea how strong my love is!

-Since I was 15, I've either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy. I have not given myself two weeks of a breather to just deal with myself.

I'm not "what you see is what you get" type of a person.